My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We got so high we made milksteak
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
