part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
