last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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