What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
