I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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