mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
