I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
