There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
