did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
