it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
