I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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