Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
