Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
