You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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