grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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