I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
