his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize