Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
