His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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