Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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