Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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