dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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