I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
