his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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