Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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