a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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