I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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