is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
