I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
