There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
