I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
