he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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