Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
