Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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