I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
