nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
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dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life