this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!