Your dad touched me again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets