Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How's your threesome situation going?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.