Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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