No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
