Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
