I love black thongs
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
