This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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