I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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