capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
