My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
