he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
