margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
