If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize