You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
