her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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