apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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