i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
