I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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