his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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