foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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