Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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