You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
