Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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