I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
