my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
