youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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