Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
