My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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