i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize