i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
