plz talk dirty to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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